My widowhood story
I got married at the age of twenty-five. I met my husband Nnamdi when I was about to sit for my UME exams when I was seventeen. He was already in the university. He had come to spend time with a relative who stayed on my street and somehow we got introduced. We became friends and years later he asked me out. We dated for two years before he proposed. I was sure he was the one; we loved each other so much.
Both families met and my dowry was paid. We had our church wedding a few weeks after that. We lived together relatively peacefully. I was without a job for a while but he cared for me. We also hoped we would have children immediately but it did not happen.
We began to visit hospitals and take drugs that were prescribed. It began to disturb our peace. My in laws would call and casually ask how we were and ‘how far?’ my mother was deeply worried and tried to sell some funny ideas of seeing a spiritualist. My husband and I were strong Christians and had decided to wait on the Lord. We were only three years in marriage.
My in-laws began to ask my husband about his plans for children. I know because he hid nothing from me. I got a job at this same time. It helped me take my mind off the problems briefly. I would return late with my hubby. Most times we would make dinner together before bed.
I really felt my husband deserved a child; he was such a good husband. I prayed and prayed. I was beginning to get tempted to visit a spiritualist. This led to the biggest fight we ever had as a couple. I was thirty already and really felt desperate. He was disappointed that I wanted to see one. We didn’t talk for days. We patched things up and moved on. I’m so glad because the agony I faced as a widow would have doubled.
A few days after we ended our fight. I came home to meet no power. I didn’t feel like turning on the generator because I felt power would be restored shortly. Moments later, my husband came home. He insisted on turning on the generator. I told him to go right ahead while I fixed dinner. The generators came on and after a few minutes we settled down to eat. We had almost finished when power was restored. He got up to go turn off the generator. That was the last time I saw my husband alive.
I waited for him because I felt full; I needed to know if he’d eat the rest. He began to take too long. I shouted his name, no response. The generator was still running. I decided to go check what he was up to. That was when I saw the most gruesome thing I will ever see in my life. My husband stood motionless with his hands on the change over switch. He had been electrocuted.
My screams must have woken up everyone in that whole local government area. I passed out. when I opened my eyes I was in the hospital. I wondered at first what happened, then it came back. I asked about my husband but the doctors said I needed to rest.
My parents came around and my mother was trying to look strong. It seemed she had been crying. I demanded to know what was going on. They broke the news to me. Readers I must confess, I really don’t know how I survived that ordeal.
The burial took place hurriedly. My in-laws were surprisingly supportive. After the burial, my father in law told me to leave before the umuadas came in the next day. Along with my brothers, we left early the next morning. I went straight to my parent’s house. It took me a year to be a little human, I was a zombie for so long.
Well, that’s my widowhood story. I’m now thirty –eight. I haven’t found the right man yet. I’m hoping that God will surprise me. I look back at the time I spent with Nnamdi. If I could wind back the clock, I would take away all the small troubles and quarrels. When you have time to look back in retrospect, you find that those small quarrels where one person wants to prove something is all for nothing. Enjoy your time with your wife, enjoy your time with your husband. Love them as if this is the last day you would see them. Widowhood came for me like a flash. I was totally unprepared.
Thanks once again for taking time to read my widowhood story. Thank you Davina Diaries for the platform to share