girls-night-outThis question invariably comes up amongst women, and I’m certain that some guys have also thought to ask it. What’s the deal with women, and this elusive ideal of an universal sisterhood. Okay, let me backtrack….there’s a misconception framed by utopian ideal that all women, young and mature, of all races are bound together by the fundamentals (body politics) of gender and sex. So the notion goes like this….no matter what our differences, our common experiences by virtue of us being women are what bind us together in an up breakable bond of sisterhood. Yes….and this bond is supposed to transcend geographical and national barriers. Hmmm. Interesting thought, especially since women seem to be the detractors of this concept firstly and most profoundly. If we’re supposed to be sisters…..it doesn’t seem like all the sisters got the memo.

Last weekend, I attended two events…..and I am now convinced that not only are women generally averse to being universal sisters, but they are much more interested in competing slyly and deviously for the attention of men. The first shindig was a birthday event for an old male friend….of course, being a single lady I didn’t want to arrive there all by myself because that would seem a brazen act of war…..a throwing down of the gauntlet if you like. In such settings, when you don your freakum dress and put curling iron to your hair….then proceed to rock up sans a man…..you’re obviously saying that you’re available and you’re very ready to mingle. So because I didn’t want to be hated on sight, I strategically brought a hot lady friend of mine along in a clever attempt to deflect the attention of all those ladies who were there to check out what’s on the market while putting at ease those jealously guarding their prized possessions. Suffice it to say, my shrewd ploy worked, and the evening went by without any nasty run-ins with any of the sisters…..but it also didn’t earn me any new female friends that night, coz let’s face it Cold War or not….a girl’s gotta look super hot. Jokes aside.

The following day was hectic….this soirée was at a relatively new upmarket African themed restaurant-cum-lounge….it was a late Sunday afternoon and the ladies came out in full force….all beautiful shapes and sizes…..the very definition of gorgeousity….but of course,the invisible lines in the sand were drawn. If you don’t know her or her posse, you better act like you don’t see her. If you look straight at her and she doesn’t know you or recognize you, and you smile…..her eyes narrow slightly as she alerts her friends to this anomaly of another woman looking at her and smiling. “What’s your story, what game are you running and what could you possibly be up to?” her distrustful gaze levels at you. So you quickly turn your face away, because the love you’re trying to throw her direction is swallowed up by the huge ball of suspicion surrounding her and her friends….fear so thick you can carve a designer logo out of it and wear it as a brooch.carrie_annoyed

To make matters ever so more interesting, or as they say….to thicken the plot…..the ladies bathroom only has one cubicle. Meaning that all the eyes that avoided locking all evening would suddenly be forced to consider each other….in a confined space……awkward!!! Each time I had to sojourn into that small space they called a bathroom, I had to psyche myself up and put on my most charming smile….a smile that at ounce communicates that I know I got it goin on, but I appreciate that you do too in your own swag…and in the end, whichever way you look at it, we may one night or other find ourselves standing at opposite sides of the battlefield……but not tonight. Tonight, you’re a lovely woman in the bathroom with me, I’m just here with another sister friend to enjoy good food and awesome music to wrap a deliciously interesting weekend. Besides, in everything in this life, there are levels, relativity…..we are not all looking for the same level of man such as these that are present at this establishment. Seemingly, women are not so keen to be a sisterhood….not as long as men are considered precious commodities in increasingly short supply.

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