We’ve already examined the reasons people cheat in relationships as well as marriages, but some things just happen, they spiral out of your control.
I watched a movie once, ‘Mistresses’, the heroine was happily married to her husband, she was blessed with a lovely family but everything ended the night she spent working with her boss at the office. It wasn’t planned, it just happened and they had sex.
So when we talk about infidelity, open up your mind, sometimes it’s a mistake, it could happen to anyone. Still, if your cheating was deliberated, but you’ve somehow come to repentance, this write up is also for you.
The first thing you must do when you’ve cheated on your partner is to seclude yourself for some minutes or hours. Have some alone time, let the gravity of your offence reach to your bone marrow. Imagine if your spouse did the same to you, feel the pain you’ve inflicted on them, so you’d understand why they’re gonna act a certain way once you confess your sins.
This rule is very important, never keep it to yourself or plan to confess after a year or so, something else may just pop up, something that could hurt the person more. What if the person you cheated with has a deadly disease or what if they got pregnant for you? How many secrets are you willing to keep?
So here is rule one: confession is a must, it isn’t negotiable. It shows you’re ready to sit up and it shows how much you respect the person.
It doesn’t matter who you slept with, don’t feel you’re doing the person a favour by keeping it away from them, the truth would emerge one day.
Additionally, you must prepare yourself for the worse. Your spouse may never love you the same, it could take a long while for them to trust you again, it could even ruin your marriage or relationship(for those that cannot forgive). Just prepare yourself for anything.
If you have a trusted friend or family member, I’d advice you let them in, though you created this mess all by yourself. However, you must only bring them in, if your spouse remains adamant after your confession.
Finally, this one is a bit tough but it’s for the best. I know you’re supposed to be honest with your spouse but never reveal the identity of the person you cheated with. Your partner would want to know, but personally, I wouldn’t advise it. A revengeful partner may push the matter forward, a crazy one would want to harm this person. That’s my personal opinion, though, what’s most important is that you confess. Your confession isn’t enough still, you have to work on yourself and make sure you don’t cheat a second time.