The Many Campaign Promises of APC…
You are highly disappointed. How did you fall for a santa claus dressed in APC branded dansiki? You and your friends had queued up under the sun that hot afternoon at the polling booth and evoked the power of your fingerprint to ensure that Change would finally sweep through Nigeria. But was it really change you wanted? Looking back 7 months later you now know that you were simply a ‘long throat’. You had finished your university education and had been slapped in the face by the reality of scarce jobs in the country. For every vacancy that required just two people to be employed, a crusade standard crowd showed up and your CV had now become more published and widely distributed than daily newspapers. So, you were fed up in your own right. Transformation agenda was too ambiguous and more so deceptive. You knew that it was a masquerade dressed outwardly like the noblest of princes. But Change? That was more like it.
Santa Claus APC doled out one promise after another from his huge sack of fantasies and you believed them – all 222 of them! Your eyes were particularly fixed on the N5,000 youth stipend you had hoped to get by with. You planned on how it would be spent on internet subscription and two other miniature expenditures in your budget. How gullible you were! How could you expect to get paid for internet subscription with which you’d log in on twitter and criticize the same government’s every move? You shot yourself in the leg there.
You also believed the APC campaign promise that over 720,000 jobs would be created within the first year of PMB’s administration. You were even deceived by a fake whatsapp broadcast message that the Ministry of information was accepting submissions of CVs… You packaged yours in a brown envelope and shipped it off to Abuja so that when the jobs arrive like imported biscuits arriving at Apapa in Maersk containers, you would be notified to come pick up your appointment letter. Chai! The Nigeria of your dreams.
You were even hooked by the one meal a day promise for school children. You had imagined your neighbourhood children would suddenly develop rosy cheeks because they were eating APC Chicken and Jollof rice. Hmmmmm…
You had pictured how your new home will look as you are allocated one of the one million housing units APC promised to build as soon as they get into power. My dear brethren, you better get a carpenter to fix your leaking roof because the rains are almost here. The housing units nko? Abeg, leave trash for LAWMA.
Only if you had paid attention to the very last detail of each campaign promise, you would have noticed the one which said ” … Increasing the quality of all federal government-owned hospitals to world class standard within FIVE YEARS”. (How many years is Nigeria’s presidential tenure again? 4 years? Oh you forgot? Hehe) You would have quickly caught the hat trick before the joke landed on your head. You would have uncovered the sweet talk that was being used to lure your fingerprint.
Seven months later, only 1 out of the 222 fantasies you believed has been fulfilled- the war against corruption which has been very entertaining indeed. However, you realize that it is nothing short of a parade of ‘yam eaters’ so far and you wonder when the judicial trials will begin or will they go Scott free? For you know that a goat will always look for another yam to steal if it’s tongue is not cut off. Yet, 1/222 belongs to the score sheet of a child who doesn’t know what he/she is doing or one whose relatives in the village are using his destiny to dance shoki.
You console yourself by saying that 3 years and 5 months still provides plenty of time for your long throat promises to be fulfilled. Maybe you will wake up to 1 million jobs tomorrow. Who knows? That’s why he’s Santa Claus. He will just drop the fulfilled promise down the chimney of your hopes but until then stay glued to social media where you can admire the pictures of ‘him’ globetrotting.