Widowhood Chronicles 26: Margaret, I feel Like I Am Cursed

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Widowhood chronicles 26

Hello, Davina Diaries my name is Margaret and this is my widowhood story. My story is very painful and I am still working through all the hurt and disappointment.

Even though I was the eldest child of my parents, I was the last to get married amongst my siblings. I became the prayer point of the family as the years went by and each of my siblings got married. It was not like I was not pretty or smart as I was a straight A’s student in school. Also, did have relationships but it was always one thing or the other that ended them.

I remember the long term relationship I was in that I actually thought would lead to marriage. He met my parents but he still found a way to break up with me. It was an endless cycle of failed relationships which made me go for deliverance session upon deliverance session seeking for answers. My mother even went on my behalf to places. I resigned myself to my fate after the youngest of us got married. I endured side talks from people and insults. Even in church, I was treated like a sorry case.

Even though I had a good job and my career was going well I was miserable.

Happiness At Last, Or Was It?

I was persuaded by a friend to join a dating site where members were matched with people of their preferences. I responded to an ad by a gentleman who seemed to fit the description of what I wanted in a spouse. After three weeks of chatting on the phone and calling, we decided to meet.

He lived in a different town and had to travel for three hours to see me. Our first meeting went well, Levi was a true gentleman. We took things slowly because I guess we were trying to be careful. I really liked him but I was also scared because of my past relationship failures. Things surprisingly went smoothly with us. We saw each other at least twice a month but spoke daily on the phone.

He visited my parents with me after about a year of dating. We then went to visit his relatives. Eventually, we got married in what seemed like a dream to me. Tears of joy flowed freely on that day. I was in another world.

My Widow Story 8: Stella, Snatched By Electrocution

My Widowhood Journey…

One would think that this would be my happily ever after I didn’t realise I was just a step away from widowhood. My marriage was blissful for the one month it lasted. My husband had to return to his base just after our honeymoon. I returned to work a happy woman in love.

The day he was to come to me, he called in the morning as was our routine. He told me what he would love to eat and jokingly said he would eat the whole pot. We both laughed and joked about it. He said he was setting out in the next hour. He called again when he got to the transport company. I wished him a safe trip and went about my business.

At about the time I expected he would have arrived, I dialled his number but it was switched off. I panicked and kept trying but got the same result and I became worried. My fears were confirmed when the transport company called me later in the day to inform me of his death in an accident, immediately, I blacked out.

Am I Cursed?

When I opened my eyes, I found myself in the hospital. My sister was beside me along with my brother and they were whispering. I demanded to know what was happening, Levi, my beloved husband had died and I wanted to die too. My case was so bad that my sister and her kids had to move in with me for fear that I might hurt myself if. The doctors were afraid of my mental state and put me under heavy sedation. I was so heavily sedated that I couldn’t attend his funeral because I was in need of constant tranquillizers.

It is not easy, I lost my husband after only one month of marriage. Can you imagine that I became a widow, just after 30 days of marriage? I feel like I’m cursed. Soon after, I found myself pregnant. It’s a miracle I didn’t lose the baby with how I was. I have a son who is his father’s spitting image. I initially wondered whether to take him as a blessing or a burden.

It’s been six years and I’m raising him with God’s help. He is one big consolation I have, my pride and joy. I have no plans to ever date talk more of getting married again. I want to ask God my offence, I want to know where I got it wrong. I’m crying again as I write this.

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13 COMMENTS

  1. God is Love and wouldn’t be called God if we understand or know His thoughts and the plans He has for us.
    All He asks of us is to Trust Him in this journey of life that He will make us victorious.
    You may not understand the reason you went through all that but if it’s any better, I want you to know you are blessed and loved without measure.
    I understand how you feel because I have a similar story.
    After a series of failed relationships, I finally got married in my late thirties (30ties) only for my husband to die of a motor accident in 2016 after nineteen (19) days of marriage. He didn’t get me pregnant before leaving (I don’t know whether to take it as being lucky or unlucky but I believe God Has His reasons for giving me this cross).
    I’m trusting God in all things and know He Has written a beautiful script of my life which will be showcased soon.
    Keep trusting God, He’s got you covered.

  2. I cried while reading your story too ma’am. We may not have the answers to all the ‘whys’ in this mysterious life but I can assure you, you are not cursed neither are you forsaken. Don’t ever accept that lie. My own life situations have made me think like that too on several occasions but I believe we will understand it better by and by. God be with you and your son madam.

  3. I cried while reading your story too ma. I’m hugging you from here! So many situations that make us to question the existence of God or His goodness. We may not have the answers to all the ‘whys’ in this mysterious life but I can assure you that you are not cursed neither are you forsaken.
    We will understand it better by and by. God be with you and your son madam.

  4. The Bible says ‘I know the thought that I think towards you, the thought of good and not of evil to give you an expected end. Shear up, your expected good end is coming.

  5. I can feel your pains sis. You are not cursed especially if you are truely God’s child. But the occurrence are not mere coincidence. Something may have been wrong spiritually, somewhere somehow, sometime (only God knows) and only God can make plain. My advice is stick to God in all ramifications, He is our able Deliverer. Love Him, and don’t get mad at Him. He will sought you out in His own unique way, and you will be glad you waited on Him.
    May God remain a sure help to you and your miracle son.

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